Seven questions to ask before a housing decision becomes urgent
By Marc Samulewicz, REALTOR®, SRES® | Real Estate Advisor, hb.homes and Seven Gables Real Estate
Your parents may have a clear answer when you ask about the house: “We’re staying.”
That deserves respect. Their home may be close to friends, filled with family memories, and arranged around a life they enjoy. If you are concerned about the stairs, the upkeep, or what would happen if they needed help, you can take those concerns seriously without beginning with a conversation about selling.
Start with a better question: What would make staying in this home work well for them?
The answer involves more than the house itself. It includes daily routines, transportation, support, expenses, and your parents’ wishes. These seven questions can help your family turn a vague worry into a practical plan.
1. What do your parents want to preserve?
Before discussing changes, ask what they value about living there. Is it the neighbors? The garden? A familiar routine? Their independence? Staying near a spouse’s friends or the family home?
Listen for the things a different home would need to protect. A parent who says “I’m not moving” may be telling you what matters most, rather than rejecting every form of help.
Ask what they enjoy about the home today and what has become more difficult. Let their answers guide the next conversation.
2. Does the home still fit their daily routine?
Walk through a normal day with them. How do they enter the house, bring in groceries, use the bathroom, do laundry, and reach the rooms they use most? Are there repairs they have postponed because coordinating the work has become a burden?
A house can feel familiar while requiring more effort than anyone realizes. Sometimes better lighting, clearer paths, a repair, or a thoughtful modification can make a meaningful difference. More substantial changes should be evaluated by appropriately qualified professionals.
The AARP HomeFit Guide offers ideas for making a home more comfortable and usable. The National Institute on Aging’s room by room guide can help you identify potential safety concerns.
3. Which tasks do they want help managing?
Your parents may be comfortable living at home but tired of arranging repairs, maintaining the yard, or keeping up with household work.
Ask which tasks they still enjoy, which they would gladly hand off, and who would coordinate help. Be specific. “We can help” becomes a useful plan when someone knows who will call the plumber, meet a contractor, or arrange transportation.
Family members have limits on their time, even when they want to help. Outside services may be part of a good plan for staying.
4. How would they get where they want to go?
A home works best when the people living there can reach the places and relationships that matter to them.
Think beyond medical appointments. How would your parents get to the grocery store, see friends, attend activities, or visit family if they wanted to drive less? What options are available in their part of Huntington Beach?
AARP Driver Safety offers driving education. The Eldercare Locator can help families research community services, including transportation.
5. What would staying cost, including the help they might need?
A paid off mortgage does not mean the home has no ongoing cost. Taxes, insurance, utilities, maintenance, and major repairs continue. Household or transportation services may add to that amount.
Make a simple list of current expenses and the support your parents might choose to add. This is a planning exercise, not an argument for moving. It lets your family compare real choices instead of assumptions.
A real estate review can also clarify what the property might be worth and what other housing options would actually cost. A financial or tax professional can help your parents consider how those choices fit their broader plans.
6. Who should be involved in decisions?
Ask your parents whom they want included in conversations about their home. They may welcome input from one child, all their children, a trusted friend, or a professional advisor. They may prefer to handle some matters privately.
Being a concerned family member does not automatically give someone authority to make property decisions or receive confidential information. Your parents’ preferences and the applicable legal documents matter.
If there are questions about a trust, power of attorney, inheritance, or who can act on someone’s behalf, bring those questions to an estate planning attorney. My job as a real estate advisor is to keep the property discussion clear and focused on the client’s wishes.
7. What change would prompt another conversation?
Your parents can choose to stay now and still decide when the plan should be reviewed.
Perhaps a major repair, a change in transportation, or the need for more daily help would be a reason to revisit it. Ask what signs would matter to them and agree to talk again if one occurs.
This gives everyone a way forward. Your parents retain control, and the family understands when it would be useful to reassess the options.
A Plan for Staying Can Include Other Options
Sometimes these questions point to improvements and support that make staying easier. Sometimes they reveal that another home deserves a closer look. Either result gives your family useful information.
I call this a Portfolio of Strategies: understanding the practical choices before circumstances force a rushed decision.
As a Huntington Beach real estate advisor with the Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES®) designation, I help homeowners and their families examine the property side of those choices. We can discuss the current home, its responsibilities, potential alternatives, and what a future sale or purchase would involve. Health, legal, tax, and financial questions belong with the appropriate professionals.
If your parents say they want to stay, begin there. Ask what would help them do it well.
Contact Marc Samulewicz at hb.homes to schedule a Home Options Review. Your parents do not need to be ready to move to benefit from a clear picture of their choices.
